Kissing, you say? What's the harm in kissing?
Honestly, I don't think there's any harm in kissing. But my family has always taught me that it should be saved for my husband, and I agree entirely.
But it's just a kiss, nothing more.
This is true, but there's always a first kiss for people. I believe that anything you have a first of should be saved for marriage (or at least engagement), whether it's kissing or physical intimacy (although I believe this should be saved strictly for marriage).
For example. Let's say that this young man in my life and I kissed. I'd never kissed a guy before, so I would be giving my first kiss to him. But what if something happened between us, and we had to "break up"? What if it wasn't God's will for us to be married? I would have then given my first kiss, something that should be held as a sweet and loving action that's to be enjoyed by a husband and wife, to someone who then wouldn't be my husband. And it would have been the same issue for him, having kissed me, a girl who wouldn't be his wife. When we both finally ended up getting married eventually, to other people, we cannot give them ourselves entirely, because we'd given a piece of ourselves to each other when we kissed.
Of course, I'm incredibly grateful to have a guy who understands where I'm coming from and is respecting my wishes, and he would never dream of compromising my purity or crossing my family's boundary line.
The same holds true with physical intimacy though, but I feel like the consequences for premarital sex would be much heavier and more burdensome than a kiss would be (although again, I feel like both should be saved for marriage regardless). This is why I believe maintaining purity in a relationship is so important. Not only are you blessed within marriage after waiting to kiss or engage in physical intimacy, but if something would happen between you and your current boyfriend/girlfriend, you'll still be able to remind yourself that you haven't given yourself away.
What is acceptable to you, then?
What is acceptable in a premarital relationship varies by person to person. For myself personally, as of now only hugging is permitted. When my parents give us permission though, I don't feel like there is anything wrong with holding hands. And even though hugging and holding hands is hardly engaging in physical contact, being in a relationship shouldn't only be about the physical aspects. It should be about getting to know the other person better and growing in a close, personal friendship. After all, your husband/wife should be your best friend in life anyway.
What about verbal purity?
Verbal purity is just as important to me as physical purity. I know a lot of people go through issues with "sexting" or inappropriate discussions with their boyfriend/girlfriend, and honestly, it can be just as bad as premarital sex. It's very important to keep your mind pure, as well as your body.
I don't believe there's anything wrong with telling someone how much you appreciate them, care for them, etc., nor do I think there's anything wrong with saying I love you. (I've told the young man in my life that I love him and I don't believe there is anything wrong with it, mostly because I do indeed love him. Love is such an important part of the world, and I think it's important to tell everyone you love them, whether it's friends, girlfriends/boyfriends, family...people need to know that they're loved.) I do believe though that kissing and physical intimacy are sacred forms of showing love that should only be engaged in with a spouse.
Bible verses on purity:
- 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual
immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness
and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.
- Galatians 5:19-21, Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries,
dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn
you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the
kingdom of God.
- Matthew 5:8, Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
- 2 Timothy 2:22, So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace,
along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
- Hebrews 13:4, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled,
for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
I hope that this post could be eye-opening for some people. I get surprised reactions from people every once in a while when I tell them that I refrain from kissing, so hopefully this can answer why I personally do. :)
Until next time,